Awarded a $2,500 scholarship last Sept. 29, 2019 at the 2020 Miss Orange County and Miss Orange County Teen Regional    


Kindness Begins With Me Anti-Bullying Workshop for Adult and Children
Inspire, empowers, protect.
* Come join us for the workshop that could save your child's self esteem and self-confidence.
* Basic coaching and role play to help give your child the protection they need.
* Etiquette and communication skills.
* Helping the child being Bullied to stand up from the Bully.
* Social manners and behaviors.
* How to be more in tune with the kids around you.
* Overcoming Fear.
* Posture and Presentation
* Personal Hygiene

* Improving study and work ethics
* How to be positive in front of people
* Understanding people's differences
* Acceptance
and more!

Attributes for an extra mile:
* Leadership Building
* Team Building
* Motivation to overcome adversity
* Strategy to analyzing the Bully
* Execution, deep breath
* Change
* Analyze oneself in order to see the problem.
* Discipline
* Be magnificent in any talent that you excel in.
* Rise above your Bully.

Improving relationship with others:

* How do others see you
* How do you see yourself
* How you communicate with others
* How others communicate with you
* Understanding the sense of humor
* Adapting to the environment
* Know when to say no
* How well do you adjust to topics and personalities
* Camouflage
* Its good to be different but what is your level
* Street-wise, School Smart, Work wise

* Pick your battles

Turning Bullying experience into gold

* Inspiration
* Success
* Accountability
* Adversity
* Diversity
* Productivity
* Personal Growth
* Environmental Issues
* Understanding that there are varying types of talent
* Acceptance

Understanding your roots:
* School Survivor
* Marketing yourself
* Branding at an early age
* Student to student relationship, teach to student relationship
co-worker to co-worker relationship, worker to superior relationship.
* Leader to follower relationship
* Making a contribution no matter what
* Being engaged in the moment to school or work.
* Being organized
* Loyalty

Mirror Chanelling:
* Look at yourself in the mirror. Do you like what you see?
* Presentation and skills
* Perception is the key
* Finding your true potential in spite of the mud on your face
* Labeling
* Stigma that damage self-esteem
* Comparison to others
* Harness human potential

* Self-education. Study your interest
* If you don't have the money, work

Reaching your peak:
* Peak Performance
* Mature early
* Entrepreneur
* Self-esteem
* Personal Growth
* Have the drive
* Do more as a student or as a professional
* Blaming yourself is never the answer
* Make changes in life and re-prioritize
* Controlling Anger

* Controlling verbal and physical response
* What to do when you are about to explode
* Words can hurt as much as physical hurt
* What you do can leave a lasting impression, good or bad

Call 714-619-1085 or email
Private coaching available. (Please indicate)
Group Workshop is available
Please fill out the form below

*To help you protect yourself from Bully
*To identify who are the Bullies
*To help gain self confidence
*To stand up from the Bully the right way and more!

* What Bully see in you that makes you a target

Written by Irene Van der Zande

What is Bullying?
"Bullying takes many different forms including physical threats or violence; name-calling and teasing; ostracism; and social attacks on someone’s reputation. People can bully others directly, in person; indirectly, such as by gossiping or ‘badmouthing’ by voice to others; or through any form of communication technology including talking on the phone, writing, texting, emailing, and recording.  Bullying behavior occurs in schools, sports, youth groups, work places, social groups, senior centers, and online activities. It can occur anywhere people gather, either in the real world or the virtual world. Bullying takes place between people of all ages and walks of life. Young people who are being bullied are especially likely to feel trapped and alone because they usually don’t have a choice about where they live, go to school, or play."

"As a victim of Bully, I would like to share what you can do to defend yourself against Bully especially if you know the Bully, worked with Bully, helped Bully, compete with in the sports, class, or profession with Bully or know the group of Bully. I can so much for people and this is my way of helping you especially teens find peace and hope." Giselle said.

How do Bully operates and who are their main target?

Van der Zande wrote, the most common definition of bullying is, “a repeated oppression, psychological or physical, of a less powerful person by a more powerful person or group of persons.” Bullying is different from aggression between people of equal power. However, someone can have less power than others for many reasons – being shy, being different, lacking confidence, having problems at home, or lacking physical strength.

What is the difference between Bullying or Normal Conflict which turns into Bullying?

"People can also be hurtful to each other because of thoughtlessness, annoyance, poor boundaries, and experimenting with negative uses of their power without realizing the impact."

"The good news is that the social-emotional skills that can prevent and stop most bullying and harassment are also important in building healthy relationships. Learning how to take charge of their own emotional and physical safety, how to act safely and respectfully towards others even if they feel frustrated or upset, how to set boundaries and respect the boundaries of others, and how to advocate effectively to help others empowers most people and gives them tools to better manage future conflicts and relationship issues. The bottom line is that people have the right to be treated with respect and the responsibility to act respectfully towards others."

How do I talk with young people about Bullying? Van der zande wrote;

Children and teens need consistent, repeated messages from their parents, teachers, principals, and other caring adults that, “We want you to be safe. Being safe means not being afraid that someone will try to harm you. Your job is to speak up if someone is saying or doing something that is harmful to you – and to get help from the adults in charge if that doesn’t work. We also expect you to behave safely and respectfully towards others. This means staying in charge of what you say and do so that you are not being harmful or scary, even if someone really annoys or upsets you. If you have trouble at school or anywhere else, I want you to tell me.”

Build understanding by asking young people to tell you what bullying is and if, when, and how they have seen it happen. Discuss characters in books or movies who bully, witness bullying or are bullied.  Periodically ask, ”Is there anything you’ve been wondering or worrying about that you haven’t told me?

What should children and teens do if they are being bullied?

Give them the opportunity to practice being powerful, respectful, and persistent when using these skills:

  • Using their awareness to notice a problem situation and move out of reach.
  • Telling someone to stop.
  • Asking to join the game or conversation in a friendly, confident way.
  • Leaving and finding someone else to play with.
  • Interrupting busy adults and being persistent in asking for help with a safety problem.

Make sure that children know that most teachers, yard duty supervisors, and other school staff want them to be safe at school and will listen if they understand the problem.

What should children and teens do if they see another kid being bullied?

If young people witness bullying, their wisest choices are going to depend on the situation - they can speak up, reach out, and/or leave to get help. Suppose the person doing the bullying is being unkind by leaving another kid out or by calling names. Give kids practice speaking up while staying polite and confident with statements like: “Stop! That seems like a hurtful thing to say.” “Wait! The rule here is that everybody gets to play!” “Hi! What’s going on?” “Hey! That’s not cool!” Show how to persist respectfully if someone reacts negatively.

If kids don’t feel safe or able to speak up, their wisest choice is usually to leave and get help. Suppose someone is being threatening or physically unsafe by hitting, kicking, tripping, or shoving. Give kids practice in how to leave right away and interrupt a busy adult to get help. Encourage kids to reach out to someone who has been bullied by offering support, giving an invitation to join an activity, or sitting together.

What should I do if I am worried that my child is being bullied?

A child who is being bullied is likely to be struggling with loneliness, misery, and despair. Pay attention to warning signals such as your child suddenly not wanting to go to school, acting depressed, or sounding upset about relationships with friends.

Make SURE your child knows that you care and want to help, no matter how busy you are, no matter what mistakes your child might have made, no matter who might be offended, no matter WHAT.  If bullying happens in front of you, intervene even if your child says that he or she doesn’t mind.  If the bullying is happening in places when you are not there such as school, insist that the adults in charge take effective action. Most schools are doing a tremendous job with limited resources and truly care about their students. Your job is to advocate for your child in a way that seeks solutions rather than blame.

If the problem does not get better, consider changing schools or activities. Find positive social groups for your child to be part of. Coach your child to practice the safety skills mentioned above and to apply them to the specific problem. If your child continues to struggle, get professional help.

What if my child is doing the bullying?

First, take a breath! Stay calm no matter how you feel inside.  You will be more successful in dealing with the problem and your child will be more likely to give you accurate information if you sound caring rather than upset or anxious. If your child tells you, thank your child for letting you know. If you’ve noticed something that your child has not mentioned, bring up the subject in a matter-of-fact way.

Pushing boundaries and experimenting with negative uses of their power is normal for some young people. With adult guidance, they can learn to redirect this behavior and become positive leaders. Kids who bully need to know that unkind, hurtful behavior is against the rules and to face consistent, age-appropriate consequences. Rather than lecturing, use practice as a management tool to address unsafe, disrespectful behavior.

Look for the reasons underneath the bullying behavior and practice skills that can help young people deal with these issues in a safer way. Remember that in a stressful moment, people of any age are more likely to do what they’ve practiced than what they’ve been told. Dealing with the disappointment of not getting what you want, having to wait your turn, feeling upset by what someone else said or did, understanding the other person’s point of view, and calming down instead of exploding in anger are all skills that can be learned and practiced until they become habits.

Bullying can cause big problems and can also create a tremendous opportunity to grow. With better skills and strong support, everyone involved can learn what to do, as well as what to not do.

To find out more on how you can be a part of our KINDNESS BEGINS WITH ME ANTI-BULLYING CAMPAIGN,
Send us an email to
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We are looking forward to hearing from you!